Intervju: Doris Dahlin- Alltid med pennan vässad

Arkiv ur nr 4-2017

Alltid med pennan vässad

För Doris Dahlin är det aldrig någon tvekan vad som får henne att vässa pennan: Hon för de utsattas talan, vare sig det handlar om klass, högkänslighet eller flykt från krig och terror. Just nu aktuell med två böcker pratar vi om hennes författarliv, som tog sin början bland arbetarfamiljerna i skogen utanför Härnösand.

Doris Dahlin slog igenom med stor succé när hon bara var 18 år gammal med romanen Ockupationsleken som för övrigt antogs av ingen mindre än Astrid Lindgren på Rabén & Sjögren. Den riktade skarp kritik mot den konservativa och auktoritära skolan. Skolan var den gymnasieskola som Doris hade gått i.

– Det var en stor revansch när Expressen slog upp stort att jag hade fått betyget i svenska sänkt från 5 till 1, på grund av att jag skrev en politisk uppsats. Jag hade länge kvar uppsatsen där läraren hade skrivit i marginalen att detta var politiskt NJA-floskel. NJA var en grupp som bland annat skrev politiska pjäser.

Det politiska engagemanget har följt Doris genom livet. I många år var hon fackligt aktiv i Sveriges Kommunistiska parti, och senare gick hon med i Socialdemokratiska kvinnoklubben.

– Jag hade skrivit en krönika om kungen som resulterade i att jag fick en störtflod av hatbrev och telefonsamtal. Endast två personer stod på min sida under den hemska tiden, en av dem var en kvinna som var aktiv i kvinnoklubben. Hon tyckte jag skulle gå med.

Uppvuxen med en pappa som var socialdemokrat och fackligt aktiv och en mamma som gärna uttryckte sina åsikter, växte Doris upp med livliga diskussioner. Det fanns också konstnärligt påbrå, pappans familj målade och Doris mormor Johanna, elvabarnsmamma och arbetarkvinna som skrev.

– På den tiden i den miljön var det otänkbart att man skrev något annat än brev till släkten och för hennes del, att hon till och med skrev ”till de på herrgården”.

Johanna dog samtidigt som Doris föddes men Doris mostrar uppmuntrade henne hela uppväxten.

– Hon skriver som Johanna, sa de och det stärkte mig. Senare fick jag veta att även en av mina mostrar skrev i hemlighet, hon visade mig en gång en dikt i tidningen och frågade om jag kunde gissa vem som skrivit den.

Doris läste mycket. Det är en bra skola, något hon rekommenderar alla som vill bli författare. Men om inte biblioteken funnits hade hon aldrig kunnat bli denna bokslukare.

– När jag kom hem med böcker från biblioteket blev mamma i början orolig. Vi hade ju absolut inga pengar att köpa böcker för. ”Är du alldeles säker på att det inte kostar något?” frågade hon flera gånger. Det var ju faktiskt otroligt, tänk att man kunde låna hur många böcker man ville, utan att det kostade!

Att leva fattigt var annars vardagen för Doris. De bodde i ett gammalt hus utan vatten och värme. Mamman var städerska. Ett arbete hon var mycket stolt över och trivdes med.

– Det är inte alla som kan städa bra, brukade hon säga. Men det hårda jobbet slet ju såklart ut henne på sikt. Och inte tjänade hon så mycket heller.

”Det är alltid de utsatta som intresserar mig, jag vill lösa konflikter”

 

Pappan hade arbetat som kommunalarbetare, men fick sparken för att han söp. Då blev det extra svårt att få ihop det.

– Men den stora grejen för mig var inte att vara fattig. Vi bodde i ett område, utanför den lilla borgerliga staden Härnösands kärna, ja, mitt i skogen, bland många andra fattiga, de var som oss.

Klasskillnaderna märktes tydligt när mamman arbetade i hemmen hos de rika. Något för övrigt pappan inte tyckte var bra, lönen var ju svart och hon samlade inte på sig några pensionspoäng.

– Några av de hon städade hos var snåla. En gång ville en dam inte betala mamma. Hon ville ge henne gamla kläder istället. Men då blev mamma så arg att hon sa ifrån och sedan gick hon aldrig tillbaka, det var hon alldeles för stolt för.

Den allra första upplevelsen av text som Doris minns var när hon fick en bilderbok av en släkting som liten.

– Den handlade om en kattunge som var uppvuxen hos råttor och trivdes väldigt bra i sin familj. Det blev en chock för kattungen när hon sedan växte upp och upptäckte att hon inte var som de andra i råttfamiljen. Jag blev väldigt berörd av berättelsen, jag tror jag kände igen mig i att växa ur sin egen familj. Något som också betydde mycket var när moster Mary läste ur en bok med berättelser ur livet. Boken handlade om folk som överlevt svåra saker. Det gav mig hopp. Det kommer att bli bra allting, till slut. Det var något jag behövde höra när jag var liten.

Doris går iväg för att hämta något i bokhyllan i hallen. Kommer tillbaka med ett inplastat litet häfte hennes barn köpt till henne på ett antikvariat en gång: sagan Jack och bönstjälken.

– På ett symboliskt plan är det så tydligt varför den betydde så mycket för mig: Att trotsa rädslan och ge sig i väg till den farliga jätten uppåt och hämta hjälp. På det sättet skulle jag kunna rädda mamma, som inte mådde bra och ständigt längtade bort. Det var verkligen en välsignelse att jag hade tillgång till böcker under min uppväxt.

Doris läste och läste, Moa Martinson, Karin Boye och Gunnar Ekelöf. Och hon började skriva och skicka in. När hon debuterade hade hon redan skaffat pengar till skolböcker och papper genom att få noveller och dikter publicerade i flera tidningar. Hon översatte även serier på Starlet under flera år.

– Jag försörjde mig under universitetsåren på mitt skrivande, jag vågade inte ta några studielån.

Trots att skrivandet alltså gick som en dans, debuten slog så bra att första romanen blev översatt och utgiven i flera länder, bland annat USA, vågade Doris inte satsa på sitt skrivande vid den tiden.

– Jag var präglad av min uppväxt i arbetarklass och den ekonomiska pressen. Jag vågade helt enkelt inte klara mig utan en fast inkomst. Jag ville dessutom inte vara beroende av vissa kulturmän som bestämde över pengar och jobb. Nu i samband med Metoo-kampanjen tänker jag tillbaka mycket på vad jag råkade ut för som ung.

Så hon utbildade sig till bibliotekarie, och jobbade med det i tjugo år. Sedan sadlade hon om och satsade på att jobba med gestaltterapi i relationsbygge och konfliktlösning på arbetsplatser.

– Det är alltid de utsatta som intresserar mig, jag vill lösa konflikter. Vi är dåliga på att kommunicera. Ofta uppstår konflikter på arbetsplatser för att vi utser någon till syndabock. Då behöver vi inte ta ansvar för vad vi själva gör.

Det är något som Doris ser allt tydligare i dagens samhälle.

– Det är många saker folk idag tar för självklara. De förstår inte att allt vi har, har vi fått genom kamp, inget annat. Ta bara detta som dagis, det var svårt, även så sent som i början av 80-talet när mina barn var små, att få dagisplats. Häromdagen kommenterade jag en diskussion på sociala medier. En kvinna var arg för hon inte fick någon hjälp av hyresgästföreningen. Men är du med i föreningen då? frågade jag. Nej, det var hon inte. Hon åkte gärna till Thailand regelbundet, men tyckte det var för dyrt att betala medlemsavgiften i hyresgästföreningen, men om det hände något tyckte hon de skulle hjälpa henne ändå. Vi ska liksom ha alla rättigheter, men inga skyldigheter.

Doris menar att vi många gånger inte förstår klass idag.

– När jag växte upp var sådant självklart. Idag har klass också kommit att handla om andra saker än om ekonomi.

Samtidigt som allt mer handlar om att ha mycket pengar att konsumera.

– Tänk bara på allt vi förutsätts kunna betala för. Jag vet inte hur jag skulle ha gjort om jag haft barn idag. När mina barn var små handlade barnkalasen om en låda utklädningskläder, en hembakt tårta och föräldrar som lekte med barnen. Nu finns det en social press på vanvettigt dyra kalas och resor som ska redovisas i sociala medier, medan andra föräldrar inte ens har pengar till kläder och skolutflykter.

Klyftorna har ökat menar Doris och det finns en upp-
rörande barnfattigdom i Sverige.

– Vi har ju låtit girigheten ta makten. Varför? Det här är något vi borde diskutera. Vad är det vi strukturellt prioriterar i dag?

Vilka är det som är arbetare idag, är också en fråga Doris funderar på.

– Det är ju inte industriarbetarna som har låga löner och dåliga anställningsvillkor idag.

I Doris arbete med konfliktlösning på arbetsplatser, var det centralt att öva upp förmågan att ta ansvar och säga nej för att inte ta på sig för mycket. Något hon idag inte vet hur hon skulle kunna jobba med, då arbetsförhållandena med osäkra anställningar och bemanningsföretag blivit allt mer utbrett. Man kan på många arbetsplatser helt enkelt inte säga nej eftersom facket blivit allt svagare.

– Men det handlar också ofta om hur mycket vi är villiga att stå ut med. Kampen för något bättre, den som måste tas, igen.

Hon har tillsammans med vännen Maggan Hägglund skrivit två mycket uppmärksammade böcker om högkänsliga människor, Highly Sensitive Persons, sådan hon själv anser sig vara. Drunkna inte i dina känslor och Hitta din känslostyrka.

– En högkänslig person fångar upp känslor och stämningar mycket mer, och bearbetar dem djupare än de flesta andra. Man räknar med att 20% bland människor är högkänsliga. De riskerar att bli utbrända i mycket högre grad, de känner in hur alla andra omkring dem mår, har svårt att säga nej, blir lätt överstimulerade av ljud och ljus.

Fackböckerna har nått ut väldigt bra. Det har också hennes fem romaner gjort. Mer än trettio år efter debuten kom Skammens boning som blev mycket uppmärksammad och lovordad: ”Skamligt bra. Doris Dahlins barndomsskildring är sträckläsning i sorg”.

– Skammens boning skrev jag i samband med att min mamma dog. Av hänsyn till henne hade jag inte velat och kunnat skriva innan. När hon dog vällde allt fram.

”Vi måste alltid ha pennan vässad för att kunna skriva om de obehagliga sakerna”

 

Men det fanns redan många utkast både på papper och i huvudet, det äldsta hittade Doris efter att boken kommit ut, och det var skrivet 25 år tidigare.

Den senaste romanen, Himlen bar inga moln, handlar om två barndomsvänner vars liv gått åt helt olika håll och Dalademokraten kallar henne en ny arbetarförfattare i Moa Martinsons, Elsie Johanssons och Susanna Alakoskis anda.

– Jag intresserar mig alltid för relationer, klass och de utsatta, det är det jag ser, det jag vill skriva om. Mycket av mitt stoff hittar jag i mitt eget liv.

Idéerna flödar ständigt fram. Hon kan ha svårare att avsluta projekten. Men hon vet precis varför hon skriver.

– För att jag har något jag vill säga. Jag har lite svårt att förstå när folk letar idéer till vad de ska skriva om, då tycker jag man lika gärna kan göra något annat av sin tid. Om man inte är intresserad av det rent språkliga då.

I senaste projektet, I väntan på besked som tagit ett år, har hon och fotografen Per-Erik Åström besökt olika flyktingförläggningar i Härnösand under ett års tid. Doris har intervjuat ett antal flyktingar om livet, hoppet de har och förtvivlan de ofta känner. Framförallt kommer den stora väntan på att allt ska bli bra fram. Arbetet med boken visade upp något Doris aldrig hade kunnat föreställa sig:

– Jag kunde aldrig tro att det var så här galet allting, att det fungerade så illa. Hur kan folk som arbetar med de här frågorna vara så klantiga, hur kan de stå ut med sig själva? Vi fick verkligen anstränga oss för att inte skriva en hatbok om Migrationsverket istället.

I denna mörka upplevelse gnistrade ljuset av alla människor i Härnösand, som tillsammans med kyrkan och biblioteket bar den stora flyktingvågen.

– De gömmer flyktingar, tar med dem på utflykter, språktränar, lagar mat, tyder dokument, visar medmänsklighet.

Boken har korta texter på ungefär en sida till fotografierna. Texterna har Doris arbetat väldigt mycket med.

– Varje sida har säkert 100 A4-sidor av intervju bakom sig, som jag sedan skalat ner. Folk skulle inte orka läsa boken annars.

Skriver gör hon ofta i sjok om ett par timmar. Mer orkar hon aldrig koncentrera sig. En dag i veckan skriver hon med Maggan. Då sitter de på bibliotek och skriver i flera pass med paus för måltider. Hon skriver ofta för hand. Hon skriver också mycket när hon är på sambons lantställe. Hemma i lägenheten på Kungsholmen delar hon ett litet skrivrum med sin sambo. På det höj- och sänkbara bordet är fullt av pappersutkast. Sedan ett par år tillbaka är hon författare på heltid och för något år sedan åkte hon på sin första resa där hon ostört skulle få ägna sig åt att skriva.

– Ja, det är inte klokt, jag är över 60 när jag första gången söker ett stipendium för att få resa bort och skriva en sammanhängande period. Fyra veckor i sträck, vilken lyx! (Doris skrev om sin skrivresa i KLASS nr 4/2016.)

Hon har också tagit upp konsten igen. Hon visar smycket runt halsen.

– Det har jag själv designat. Det föreställer den vässade pennan. Vi måste alltid ha pennan vässad för att kunna skriva om de obehagliga sakerna. För mig har orden varit mitt sätt att överleva.

I många år har Doris varit medlem i föreningen Arbetarskrivare.

– Det är jätteviktigt att stödja den här gruppen. Att många hittar en kombination där de både kan skriva och arbeta. För det är få som kan leva på att bara skriva. Det är vad som skiljer denna grupp från andra författare, de som kommer från andra miljöer, där det är självklart att det finns pengar och stöd även på annat sätt för att komma fram. Klass handlar ofta om självförtroende och vad man lärt sig att stå ut med. Man frågar ofta inte om hjälp, trots att man skulle behöva det.
Text & Foto: Jane Morén, KLASS nr 4-2017

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