Novell: Konsten att brygga en kopp kaffe av Andreas Svanberg

– Vi ska få se två filmer. Två korta avsnitt om hur man brygger en kopp kaffe. Ett bra och ett dåligt sätt.

Chefen väger över på ena foten, böjer sig fram över sin bärbara dator. Han är fast besluten att genomföra mötet, på gott humör. Han har repeterat framträdandet hemma. Stått och övat framför spegeln eller suttit vid köksbordet, rest sig och talat inför köksfläkten och spisen. Han har ålagts från effektiviseringsgruppen att genomföra förändringen. Nu gäller det för honom att få alla med sig.

– Stör solen förresten?

Han tittar hastigt mot fönstren. Jag har inte ens lagt märke till att solljuset brutit igenom molnmassorna.

Solen stör inte. Vi ser allt tydligt på vita duken. Hela skrivbordet ligger öppet för våra ögon: Documents, Pictures, Internet Explorer, Google Chrome och Recycle Bin. På duken är symbolerna jämnstora med våra huvuden. Vi har redan ett litet hum om vad det är frågan om. Två tjänster ska bort. Två av oss som sitter här ska överflyttas till en annan avdelning.

– Jag vill att ni när ni tittar på filmerna tänker på ordet slöseri, fortsätter chefen. Nu är det inte slöseri att brygga en kopp kaffe, det får ni inte tro. Se det här mer som en slags gestaltning. Ett sätt att beskriva effekten av att arbeta mer effektivt.

Det första vi fick göra på mötet var att titta på ett svartvitt klipp ur den amerikanska teveserien I Love Lucy:

Lucy och Ethel börjar jobba i en godisfabrik och Ricky och Fred stannar hemma för att sköta om hushållet efter att killarna retat sig på tjejernas hushållsutgifter. Lucy och Ethel kämpar med chokladpralinerna som strömmar i ett jämnt tempo på det löpande bandet. Det går ut på att de ska ta pralinerna när de kommer och stoppa i ett pappersomslag och sedan släppa dem vidare till uppsamlingsbordet. Förmannen i packsalen har angett tonen och skrämt de båda tjejerna, så att de när de inte hinner med i stället börjar äta chokladen eller gömma undan bitarna i mössan och i förklädet. När de hör förmannens röst och förstår att hon är på väg in till dem gör de snabbt rent bandet och sitter som om de är klara när hon kommer. ”Utmärkt! Då höjer vi farten!” Förmannen återgår till köket och Lucy och Ethel tvingas äta allt fler praliner och stoppar mössan full.

Förmän som i smyg försöker driva upp tempot eller mejsla fram orden till utmattade verkställare är skrämmande aktuellt. Man kan undra vad som hänt under de drygt sextio åren som gått sedan teveserien spelades in. Hur det var att arbeta i en godisfabrik i Amerika på 1950-talet och hur det är att arbeta i en godisfabrik i Sverige på 2000-talet. Allt tycks fortfarande vara svart och vitt. Ricky och Fred som går hemma och småpysslar med vardagens petitesser när det förväntas av dem att de ska vara på arbetet och uträtta storverk. Det var inte länge sedan Höften fick frågan om inte hustrun kunde vara hemma i stället för honom när barnet var sjukt. Farmor och farfar? Trots öknamnet äger Höften en förmåga att svara med exakt precision: Jag kommer tillbaka när ungen är frisk därhemma!

Kan man brygga en kopp kaffe bra eller dåligt? Man kan råka göra kaffet svagt. Då blir det en kopp dåligt kaffe. Men det är en fråga om tycke och smak. Precis som med allt annat. Det är transformeringsdag. Vi ska börja jobba på ett mer effektivt sätt. Två personer ska bort. Jag tittar på Höften och Cirka-Henke som sitter på andra sidan konferensbordet. Höften som fått sitt öknamn för att han glömde tarera vågen ett par gånger under samma vägningstillfälle, så att det blev fel vikt på innehållet i påsarna. Ett sötningsmedel som kan vara sött nog även i mindre mängder. Men rätt ska vara rätt. Cirka-Henke fick sitt namn för att han var med vid tillfället utan att lägga märke till det. De stod där och vägde upp råvara på måfå, skulle man kunna säga.

Höften och Cirka-Henke. Två arbetskamrater. Jag har känt dem i tjugo år.

Chefen för pilen till första filmen och trycker på musknappen. Vi anar det värsta.

En man går fram till en kaffemaskin av märket Saeco. Han ser sig hastigt omkring, en aning vilset, och hittar till slut en plastmugg, tar muggen och kontrollerar så att den är ren (genom att vända den upp och ner), ställer den på diskbänken, tar fram ett rör med socker, bryter förpackningen och häller i, vänder sig om och öppnar kylskåpet, får leta efter mjölkpaketet och hittar det till slut nästan tomt, han skakar ur de sista dropparna och måste öppna ett nytt paket, placerar muggen under utloppet och trycker på knappen. Maskinljudet går igång, men det dröjer en stund; man ser att han tycker det är jobbigt att vänta, han utstöter två stön, tvingas tömma filtret som verkar krångla och trycka på knappen en gång till. Maskinljudet igen. Sedan kommer kaffet, den svarta väldoftande drycken som han längtat efter. Han tar muggen och vänder sig mot kameran med ett leende.

Vi sitter tysta. Höften rör på sig som om det varit höften som gett upphov till hans öknamn.

Nästa film:

Samma man går fram till kaffemaskinen av märket Saeco. Den här gången trycker han först in knappen. Maskinen startar med ett rivljud. Han går elegant fram till diskbänken och tar en plastmugg, vet att den är ren (området är Fem-S:at: Sortera, Städa, Systematisera, Standardisera och Självdisciplin) och placerar den under utloppet. Innan den sotsvarta strålen börjar rinna ner i muggen hinner han tömma filtret och fylla på med vatten ur en PET-flaska i behållaren. Strålen kommer. Han bryter pappersröret med socker och häller i muggen under tiden koppen fylls, öppnar kylskåpet, tar fram ett mjölkpaket och doserar – medan mängden kaffe växer i koppen – så mycket han tycker är lagom. Och så är kaffet klart! Han tar muggen och slår upp ett leende som snabbt sprider sig över hela bildrutan.

Efter att filmsnutten stannat är det som om leendet fortfarande sitter fastklistrat på näthinnan. Jag tvingas kisa med ögonen.

Höften rör inte en min. Cirka-Henke ser på oss andra i hopp om att hitta någon att fästa blicken på.

– Där ser ni hur olika man kan göra, säger chefen.

Vi kommer inte oss för att säga någonting. Om det här är allvar kan vi lika gärna låta tystnaden tala.

– När ni nu tittade på filmerna, lade ni märke till några slöserier?

Ola, som är den av oss som minst av alla vill jobba, men som gärna vill hålla sig på god fot med chefen, tar till orda (även om han också tvekar en lång stund och låter blicken flacka över rummet):

– Såg ut som om han i den första filmen inte riktigt visste vad han gjorde.

– Nähä? Kan du utveckla det?

– Ingen ordning och reda. Inte Fem-S:at.

– Nej, det kan man tänka sig. Mer?

– Onödigt många turer, säger Ola.

– Först tar han muggen, sedan håller han på med sockret och mjölken, kryper de ur någon.

– Det tog längre tid för den första, fyller Ola i men rösten spricker.

Kanske är han den av oss som måste gå? Sist in först ut är inte längre en självklarhet. Nu gäller det att passa in i företagets profil.

Jag höll ögonen på tiduret genom båda filmerna. En och en halv minut tog det för den första och fyrtio sekunder för den andra. Bagateller.

– Någon av er där bak som kom att tänka på nåt?

Jag säger inte ett ljud. Kaffet som jag tagit med till mötet, men ännu inte rört har svalnat. Lucy och Ethel, Ricky och Fred – ingenting har hänt! Jag försäkrar er, avsaknaden av takt och känsla är fortfarande lika påtaglig. Spisen och köksfläkten sa nog ingenting heller. Ändå tycks chefen ha övat på frågor och svar.

– Jag skulle gärna vilja höra vad ni har att säga därbak. Vilken känsla ni har.

Lundström bredvid mig ser ut att vilja opponera sig, men finner inga ord. Jag känner hur det kryper i kroppen, men tar i stället koppen med vänstran och dricker en klunk ljummet kaffe. Det är på nytt på andra sidan bordet rösterna höjs:

– Jag undrar hur ni har tänkt, säger Höften.

– Ja?

– Vi har en leveranssäkerhet på nittionio procent, påminner Cirka-Henke.

Det är sant. Och inte en enda produktionsrelaterad kvalitetsavvikelse sedan 2013.

– Det är rätt, medger chefen. Vi är en jättebra avdelning och ni har skött det här bra. Men vi kan alltid bli mycket bättre.

Alla nymodigheter är inte av ondo. Som för några år sedan när vi byggde in en spärr i systemet så att vi inte skulle missa att tarera vågen. Markören i datorprogrammet flyttas inte förrän någon har tryckt på tareraknappen på vågdisplayen. Höften och Cirka-Henke blev Mats och Henrik igen när problemet blev åtgärdat.

Jag hinner precis dricka upp det sista av kaffet innan chefen föreslår:

– Nu bryter vi för kaffe så kan vi diskutera mer sen.

Vi reser oss sakta. Höften linkar genom den avlånga kontorsbyggnaden bort mot fikarummet. Allt jag kommer att tänka på när jag sett de två filmerna är att den första mannen såg ut att ha ett rikt inre liv bakom den disträa uppsynen och att den andra uppträdde mekaniskt och själlöst som en robot. Så ska vi inte ha det. Inte på vår rast.

Vi ser alla lite handfallna ut när vi kommer fram till köket. Chefen känner att han bör ta initiativet. Han går snabbt fram till kaffemaskinen och trycker på knappen, men så kommer han av sig. Han ser inte riktigt ut att hitta var alla sakerna finns. Han vitnar i ansiktet, finner till slut en plastmugg och ställer den lättad under utloppet. Skönt med en paus mitt i alltihop.

Vi andra går fram och tar kaffe också. På samma sätt som vi alltid gör. Lite omständigt och avslappnat. Krockar med varandra under stigande samtal. Under skratten och kivet lever frågan om vem av oss som ska få sluta.

Andreas Svanberg
Illustration: Amalthea Frantz
(KLASS nr 2-2015)

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