Recension: Gud bodde i Rågsved av Sam Carlqvist

Arkivet. Nr 3-2015. Recension.

Gud bodde i Rågsved

Sam Carlquist
Migoli förlag (2015)

Jag läser Gud bodde i Rågsved som en gammal mans potenta och virila sång om kärlek och livet.

Poeten är i sina dikter upptagen av att lösa livets gåta. Människor frågar honom om Gud och han ger sitt svar. Gud är en kvinna i första sviten, en som dukar bordet och går mellan livet och döden med breven i förklädsfickan. Jag gillar den bilden och är nyfiken på dessa brevs innehåll. Carlquists Gud skiftar skepnad, blir i en annan rad till en anonym kvinna på torget med kassar i händerna, hon lagar mat, vrider upp radion och städar. Hon förvandlas längre fram till en gammal människa, bär på en väska, stödjer sig mot käppen, en åldrande lekkamrat.

Den sista natten är den mest suggestiva sviten som berör mig mest. Poeten befinner sig i slutet av sin jordiska resa, i dödens rum på sjukhuset. På sin dödsbädd minns han sina skräpmärken och sina kärleksbett, vågor av ohejdbar lycka. Jag läser dyrbara formuleringar som den sjuke skriver ner och gömmer i små bönekapsyler. Hur ser livets slut ut?

Matsäckskorgarna tomma efter utflykten
Växterna insamlade.
Gud sätter flaskan till munnen.
Vi upphör.

En stark bild. Kan knappast sägas mer slutgiltigt och förintande i sin avskalade tydlighet.

Dödsrummet med Gud som en medpatient i sängen bredvid, en empatisk och tålmodig lyssnare och med sjuksköterskan som dödsängeln förvandlas till slut till förlossningsrummet.

Den som alltid bott i mig skall slippa ut.

Den tanken tröstar mig. Jag vandrar kvar i dödens korridorer med Sam Carlqvists bok i min ägo.

Anamarija Todorov

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